Thankful?

tis the season to be thankful, i know, but it isn't that easy this year. I am thankful for my kids, my friends, my family. so how is it that everything that is so good in my life gets overshadowed by the fact that my husband is a *^%$+~ so my new pet peeve is when people tell me that i am a strong woman or "more of a woman than i could ever be" or tell me how brave i am or try in other ways to be like "chin up jen, things will get better" ok, when will they get better, anyone got a time frame on that one? i would like some sort of syllabus or timeline for that whole getting better thing. i am not strong i am weak, if i was strong i would have burned his crap and kicked him out but i am weak because i don't care about all the other stuff i just want him. but then all the other stuff comes up and i hate him all over again. i hate this crap so much.
thanksgiving day was total crap, one of my worst days. wanda took the kids to north carolina so i ended up coming home to an empty house by myself at about 3o'clock in the afternoon and i was in the bed by about 6:45, i just couldn't handle being completely alone....sucks!!