Monday, November 12, 2007

one last time

ok, so i am going to say this because i just now have been able to put it into words, then i will no longer (ok, right whatever) post about this depressing crap and become my normal cheery self..... yeah, ok
I have figured out what i feel like right now:
I am way down in the bottom of a very deep well several people come by, peek in the top and say such wise things as "you really should get out of there" or "here let me help you get out" then they reach their hand in that is soooo completely short it don't even come close to reaching. then i have those who say "i've been in this well, you can get out, it will just take time" all the while i am in the bottom of this thing, no rope, no footholds, no hand holds nothing. i feel like i am making some headway then fall all the way back down to the bottom. people come by and say "let me know if i can help you get out of there" but no one is able to help me. then my husband is standing there telling me how if i loved myself enough i wouldn't be in this well and if i was just a different person i would be able to get out with no problem at all......
ok, so that is it

5 comments:

Art the Omnipotent said...

Honey, don't feel like you can't talk about it. You need to if you feel like you do. You're right though no one can help, no one knows. Even people who have been through it. It's different for everyone. Just try to be patient with yourself. You do what you have to do and whatever it takes to conquer one day at a time. You must get through this however you can. I know that's not cheery but it's true. Remember people are praying. God's help is the only real help anyway.

FarmWife said...

That's what we're here for. If you need to vent, vent away, girl!

Jeni says said...

thanks, it's nice to know someone hears me!!

suzanne said...

hey sweetie i am always around you and i may not feel what you are but i love you and you are my heart. i love ya sis!

ANGIE said...

I so agree with "art" (LP?) As you have learned from me already...my experience doesn't seem to be helping you at all. I am at a loss. But like she said...every situation is different. No one can tell you how you are supposed to feel or even what you are supposed to do. Unfortunately, that is a path you are going to have to find on your own...well, you and Jesus of course. But don't back yourself in a corner by saying you aren't going to talk about it anymore. Because your friends know you are going through a rough time and those of us who can't be close to you need for you to be REAL with us. We know you are miserable and hating every minute of it and we are "here" for you...let it fly!!! or get off the wagon ;o)