part of my book

this is an old post that i had put on myspace, but i thought it was funny so i thought i would share it in blogspot world too

My kids have taught me so much about the Bible and God. Zion's favorite scripture is "love one another" and she quotes it all the time. They have taught me about God's unconditional love, and the reason that he sometimes has to tell us "no" because he knows more than we do. Why punishment really is the best thing for us sometimes and why somethings really aren't that big of a deal. Sometimes Elisha (who is very artsy and emotionally driven) just needs to cry, no real reason just to express some emotions that he hasn't been able to in a while or because he doesn't feel like he is being heard. Just like when I go to God feeling sorry for myself and I just need to cry on his shoulder. Josiah has taught me so much about joy, true joy. Just having a smile on your face and love.... he is endless love. There is nothing like when he says "mom, i just need to be near you for a few minutes" wow!! Just like when I get in a place where I need to be near Jesus for a while, I just need to feel his presence.
But I think the most important thing that my children have taught me about God and the Bible is that I hate that Proverbs 31 woman!!!! She really gets me, can't stand her!
Last night Zion had a preschool graduation, we had to be there at 6pm. The boys got home at 3:30 from school, I let them have a little bit of down time while I made the cookies that I had signed up for. Thinking to myself "I have alot of time, I am so good, I'm doing so good" (by the way, we are ALWAYS late for everything, and I am trying with everything in me to correct that) so I had Elisha get in the tub at 4:00, he is doing his bath stuff all by himself now so that isnt a problem but lately he hasn't been getting his hair clean, I decided that since I was doing so good on time I would take a few minutes to school him once more on how to get his hair really good and clean. Zion is outside helping her daddy oil the deck, the most important thing in the world for him to be doing at this time, Josiah is playing the playstation. Everyone is occupied!!! Wow, I'm am a pro at this!! So I go in a so very patiently and lovingly teach my son how to make sure his hair doesn't look like a stump full of grandaddys! Then get to the ironing...... ok, maybe I should have done this already...... no problem I still have alot of time. So Elisha gets out of the tub and Zion gets in. Just like clockwork baby!! Then I go back to ironing, Elisha's shirt, my skirt, Rick's shirt......ok, I'm running out of time, time to start the rush! I call out to Rick outside and tell him that I need him to stop oiling the deck, the most important thing in the world for him to be doing at this time, and help me out a little cause we need to leave in an hour and Zion is in the tub, Josiah needs a bath and I have to take a shower and get ready, ok, really feeling the rush now!!!!!!!!!!! Rick comes in as I am finishing his shirt, I quickly instruct him to get Zion washed and stick Josiah in, and he goes to work, after he goes to the bathroom and takes his shoes off, goes to the kitchen and steals one of the cookies I have been beating the kids off of because I was supposed to take 2 dozen and only had 21, the cookies I made from a package (that Proverbs 31 woman would have made them from scratch, can't stand her) so Elisha comes and tells on his daddy for stealing a cookie and I am too frantic right now to care, so ok, fine everyone gets 1 cookie a piece. I don't have time to argue that daddy is an adult and I can't do anything to control him. Then Rick washes Zion and sticks Josiah in the tub, I finished the shirt then Rick took over to go over Zion's dress and I am going to fix her hair. So I, feeling the fact that it is 5:15 and I really need to be in the shower right now, but she needs to look as pretty as possible for this graduation. I blow dry her hair, trying with closed eyes and purposeful patience, to not scream at everyone because we are running late! AGAIN! I get her hair done and it looks really good, she is so beautiful!! Consumed for a second by the fact that she is so amazing.......wait, I don't have time for this! I jump in the shower, scrub scrub, shave, scrub and out, the whole thing took me about 1min30sec! I get out wrap my head in a towel, and get to putting on my makeup. Rick has finished her dress, but (he is smart) he has her just put on running around clothes so her dress doesn't get messed up before her ceremony. Rick gets in the shower and I am getting done with my makeup, thinking.... we might just barely make it, maybe just maybe we will be on time. "boys, come get dressed" so they get their clothes and go to their seperate corners and get dressed, Elisha looks great (his hair clean for the first time in weeks, and he is very impressed with the difference in it!) Josiah comes in and I fix his hair, wow! what a handsome boy, I have great looking kids. Putting on my eyeliner "we are going to be the best looking family there, so together and on time and everything" Rick is getting ready to get out of the shower. As I'm making the final touches on my makeup, my beautiful perfect daughter comes in the bathroom and time stops, her hair..... what is wrong with her hair......... she put something in it....... soap? water?....... I look closer to inspect....there are suds, lots of suds.......what in the world is that?...... who cares we don't have time, clothes off, into the shower with daddy get rinsed!!!!!!!!!! As Rick is rinseing her off he realizes that it is lotion, so rinseing alone will not do, we must wash it all over again. She is crying cause the shower is hotter than she is used to, so Rick turns the temp down and is trying to be patient as we try to find out what exactly it is in her hair. He gets her cleaned off and back out of the shower, I stick her back up on the sink and get ready to dry her hair, AGAIN!!! Now it is 5:50, no way are we getting there by 6, I'm still in my bra and panties with my hair up in a towel, Zion is in a towel with her hair wet, who knows what it is going to look like and Rick is just now getting out of the shower. Rick gets dressed really quickly (which in and of itself is amazing) and we decide that he will take the kids and go on, I will finish up and head over graduation isn't supposed to start until 6:30, she just had to be there a little early, ok, everything will be fine. Rick rushes around, we get Zions dress on, shoes on, she once again looks beautiful, she does a little spin for me and brushes her hair off her shoulder and says "wow, mommy! I'm more beautiful than ever!" she was right but, gogogogogogogo!!! I yell to the boys "everybody get in the van, they start loading up, great little kids!! Zion has a minimeltdown because they are leaving me there alone and I'm not going with them" we explain how I'll be there in a minute but she needs to go so she don't be late. RUSHRUSH, Rick stops by the mirror to CLIP HIS MOUSTACHE AND NOSE HAIRS!! GOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love him, I love him, I love him! He goes, they go. The house is quiet and I have to get my hair done and dress on and go. 5 minutes tops, and I am gone. I then realize that I am to drive the Jeep, yes a real Jeep, no top, no sides, no doors!!!!!! Ok, it will be fine I've got wild looking curly hair anyway, I'll just let the Jeep blow dry my hair, save time!!! Gather the cookies (which Rick was kind enough to put in a ziploc bag, thank you honey, I'm sure that this ziploc bag is just the presentation we were looking for at this fine occasion) look for a platter..... and go. Worried that the cookies will fall out of the Jeep when I make turns, so I try to keep one hand on the cookies, shifting gears......wind in my hair, hair in my mouth and eyes blowing everywhere!!! I've never attempted to drive a sidesout Jeep with a dress on before, I now know why...... just as I'm passing cars my skirt blows up to my waist and reveals all my tidbits!!!!!!!!!! I'm trying to drive a stick shift, keep my skirt tucked between my legs with knees clinched (not the easiest thing while switching from brake to clutch) hold the cookies so they don't fly out, and do my best to keep my hair out of my eyes enough to see where I'm going. I get there, finally, "I'm late, they've started, I've missed her walking in, bad mom, bad mom!!!" gotta drop the cookies off, dump the out of the ziploc bag and onto the platter. Rush to the sanctuary, she is standing outside the doors and hasn't gone in just yet!! "yeah, I didn't miss it" inside the ceremony they are praying and my daughter yells "MOMMY, you made it!!!" oh yeah, that's great!!!!!!! I go in place the rest of my family and sit, they march in, my daughter, the most beautiful kid there, in the prettiest dress! And as they introduce themselves they are supposed to say their favorite thing about preschool. All the kids are saying stuff like "my name is Dalton and I like to play outside" "my name is Dustin and I like the big wheels" then my child "I'm Zion and I just like my mommy" and that my friends is why she is alive!!! Did I tell you that we figured out what she put on her hair, carpet cleaner this pet odor and stain remover stuff! But none of that matters, she just told 100 people that all she wants to do is play with me!!!