the conversation in the back seat

today we were driving home from wal-mart and zion was looking at josiah's favorite book in the world "the national audubon's field guide to north american reptiles and amphibians" ok, he loves this book and very rarely even allows others to look at it much less his sister. so she is looking and they are discussing what she is seeing. zion, "hey siah, what kind of snake is this" josiah, "that's not a snake it's a toad" zion, "oh ok, where is it's face" josiah, "right there between it's cheeks" i loved that description!

what more can a girl ask for?

i was informed that art and farmie are going to allow me into their club "the worstest mommy ever club" that makes me happy. finally someone recognizes my talents as a bad mom! this is not the easiest route to take. you have to be glad when you have a day or 2 kid free, you have to hide in your bedroom while the kids are fighting, you have to forget very important things like lunch money, teacher presents, birthday parties and the like. this is not the easiest thing to do, i have to work really hard to be a bad mom!!!
but even though this has been a good day i am very upset and this is why, why can't i find just a bottle of hairspray? not curl spray, or shining spray, or finishing spray or stuff that smells like clouds and berries, i just want to be able to spray my bangs so they don't fly every where and show off the fact that i have a horrible cowlick! is that just too much to ask for, just hairspray!!!

bus worries

riding along on my emotional roller coaster. 2 nights ago i was inconsolable, yesterday i was mad for most of the day and today i want to forget any of this is happening. this is so fun!!
my sweet #2 boys josiah feel asleep on the bus on the way home from school monday and he missed the stop, elisha came running into the house with the announcement "mom we have a major issue" he was smiling the whole time while telling me that josiah didn't get off the bus so i thought he was kidding. after i found out that he wasn't i went and called the school and they called the bus driver who had noticed he had a straggler in the back and had already turned around to bring him home. i was driving down to the bus stop and met him and our very sweet neighbor on the way to our house, he was walking josiah home so he didn't have to come alone. i got him in the car with me and he was very shaky voiced and scared. he said he was mostly just mad at himself because he shouldn't have fallen asleep. I kept telling him that it wasn't his fault, it is just one of those things that happen, it's not anyone's fault. elisha felt really responsible for it because he got off the bus without making sure josiah was there. i explained to him that it wasn't his responsibility to take care of him brother all the time, but i know that now that this has happened it will never happen again, so we learn from it and move on. they were both scared they would be in trouble and josiah was really shook up, so i let him pick where we had supper that night anywhere he wants to go he picked burger king, just because they had good toys in their kids meals. i never let them have kids meals cause they are so much more expensive but i did the other night so he would be happy. the night ended well and everyone was safe and sound at home.

a little bit together

so last night we were doing the family thing, we put a gingerbread house together (i got a kit, not from scratch i'm not that domestic) putting it together was a total pain in the butt, i swear i needed a valium after. there are times that i wonder if i have enough patience to do this thing (the parenting thing) then i know that i don't so i just need Jesus to help me!!!!!!! the kids had a good time but i kept getting aggravated cause it kept falling apart, it is really not that big of a deal or anything not in the scope of eternity it isn't but i get so frustrated so easily at times. then there is my princess, love that kid, she is my joy!!! she has become the most frustrating child in the world, not only that but extremely whiny and she has emotional break downs over everything. makes me wonder when was the last time that i saw her happy for like 5 min in a row! she has such a beautiful smile, i would just like to see it more often! Elisha is the protagonist at our house, he is such a pot stirrer, if everyone is happy and getting along he HAS to do something to get something going. the other night he just went and stood in front of the tv purposefully in josiah and zions way. they had been quiet and happy for a few min and he just couldn't stand it. i am very frustrated with my sweet babies right now, don't know how i am going to pull off the single mom thing?????

@#$#@$#$@#$#@

i am really wanting to unleash an obscenity laden rant this morning, but i will try to keep this as G-rated as possible. i am figuring out that i am still being lied to, of course i am still being lied to the man is a liar! this is just all really hard to swallow. he is frustrated with me cause i am catching him so he is being a jerk. i am ready to puke and crawl into the fetal position with plugs in my ears my eyes shut tightly shut and never crawl out of a big hole! if not for my kids and my job i would be doing just that i promise you. i want to scream at the top of my lungs. i can't believe he thinks i am this stupid.